i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
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she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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