At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
