Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
How's work?
Spinning.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize