..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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