omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
