I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
