My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Randomize
