Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
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Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I want to fling myself into the sun
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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