Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize