Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
