Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
someone owes me an orgasm
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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