I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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