She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
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I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
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I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.