I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
