im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
