Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
