Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
