She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
