nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
