someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
