dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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