i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
