Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
