i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
