I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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