we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER