I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
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So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
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Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off