she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup