Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.