You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
there's paper in my vomit.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
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I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...