dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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