you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the day after is always just damage control
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
