I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
