woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
