it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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