Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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