his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
