I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
