everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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