I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
