Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
