u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Help. Why am I so naked?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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