walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
