You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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