it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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