dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
