It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
