I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
