he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
