Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
