my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
