our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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