My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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