what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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