I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We left an ass print on the piano.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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