Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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