You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize