you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
